A Short Introduction
or "More Than I Needed To Know"

Shortly after my parents divorce my mother moved us from San Antonio to Austin where she pursued her college career while raising me. My contact with my dad and his parents was a relatively frequent transit from Austin to San Antonio and Houston.

I have only fragmentary memory chunks for the brief period in San Antonio before we moved. The two which come to mind occurred at the same apartment complex where I was nearly drowned by a clowning neighbor kid while in the pool. Across the apartment property from the pool was a drainage ditch guarded only by a chainlink fence which had atleast one hole cut at the bottom where we kids slipped through. Unfortunately upon trying to get back through the hole in the fence my pants became entangled in the cut chain links. I was frightened not because I was stuck but for fear of my mother finding out. My mom's mother was baby sitting me that day and I had to send my friends to get her in order to get unstuck.

In the introduction to ELFIS #1 I briefly described my childhood interests in science fiction, powers of the mind, ufos, anomalous animals, etc. In trying to understand how my interest in these phenomena began I always hit the wall of memory that keeps me from remembering my early childhood. This is not the memory block of "alien intervention" but simply the lack of exercising my memory faculties which already tend towards associativeness. The few times I have recently sat alone trying to visualize and recall my childhood I was immediately flooded with rather fast-paced fly-throughs of the residences of my youth.

My earliest remembered interests in the fringe coincide with my elementary school days when I began my conscious history as a dweller on the fringe of class cliques. Amiable enough to be tolerated by most engraciating enough to be accepted by others but never truly belonging to any particular clique. Oh I had my childhood tribe of friends who stuck together through Junior High, High School and beyond but in a lot of ways I have always remained an outsider to them. My position in the pecking order was near the bottom and I am sad to say I did pass the buck of stress down upon the unfortunates who found themselves lower than I. This despite my knowing better.

Part of my fringe status stemmed from a personality which often found itself relating better to adults rather than my immediate peers. My vehement vocalizations about my aethiesm targeted me for much derision by my classmates. "You're gonna go ta Hell" was their rallying call. "If your God is so great He will understand my lack of faith," I would say. But this sort of understanding and tolerance was not prominent among the sheep who were my classmate flock.

I remember searching my elementary school library and local public library for ufo, bigfoot, vampire books by Daniel Cohen and other children's authors. Some of these books are still at my local library. Despite my prophesed aetheism I did posess what I would call a mystical / spiritual approach to life. My mother introduced me to religion by taking me to moderate open-armed churches every once in awhile. My dad and his parents whom I saw less often (my parents being divorced shortly after my birth) would also take me to their church in San Antonio. I never appreciated the community these types of churches can bring. I always felt more spiritual towards my "family of friends" who may or may not be related by blood. Spiritual worship always appealed to me but only on a more personal level.

My childhood / elementary-school-years interest in ufos and psychic phenomena perhaps influenced my fringe status among my peers. Though some of them professed religious beliefs most did not have an active interest in these subjects except as they related to the latest sci-fi movie and related action figures. We were after all reered on heavy doses of Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica, Hanger 18, Space 1999, CE3K and the eternal Star Trek reruns. I still have most of my action figure collection.

Besides developing an interest in the above mentioned areas at an early age I also became sexually aware. Being raised by the daughter of an accomplished sex researcher (Dr. James W. Ramey) opened my eyes very early on. Perhaps this bares relevance to my awakening psychicly as well for there is a long established link between sexuality, its repression, adolescence and the paranormal.

But Most Importantly I Was Influenced By Detailed Dream Recall & Early Lucidity!
 

Visions of Possible Futures
 

The earliest EHEs I can remember occurred while in elementary school. These instances related mostly to my telempathy with my mother and precognitive "visions/dreams." I am unsure of the exact dates of most of these events.

The first event I recall involved a dream or vision of a school-girl I knew getting hit in the head by a stray red playground ball thrown from a nearby "prison ball" game. I remember staring and watching as the scene unfolded and I knew I had seen it all before. I never could determine whether the memory was of a previous daydream, precognitive nighttime dream, daytime vision or just the overlayed meaning of an altered state of consciousness which tainted the realtime experience with the FEELING of memory.

The knowing I felt at the time of experiencing these possibly precognitive events has occurred to me on a number of occassions. I never called these experiences deja vu because I always associated that word with a different experience which seemed to me a sort of seeding of intuitive flashes of subconscious recognition that somehow / someway "I've BEEN HERE before." What I experienced is an unfolding in the timeless moment like an extended deja vu where the feeling that "I've been here before" becomes the greater surprise of knowing exactly what is going to happen next. In the situation where the girl was hit by the ball this information wasn't applied to an effort to change the situation. However some time later a similar deja vu / precognitive dream / vision / memory occurred and I DID act upon it and changed what for me was an embarrasing experience in the original vision.
 

Manifesting Our Most Positive Futures
 

It all happened on one of the many occassions when my father, his parents and I went to eat at a longtime family favorite Mexican food restaurant called La Paloma. We were all seated around the table and a pleasant conversation was ebbing and flowing when the subject of cars eventually came up. Cars have never been something I felt skilled at playing with in a hands-on mechanic sort of way. However all the men on my dad's side have been mechanicly inclined. As the car conversation continued I began to KNOW, word for word, exactly what each person at our table was about to say. As I began to grok this knowing I extended it until I realized I had "seen this all before" and knew that it didn't end well for me. As I continued to have this deja vu / memory of precognitive vision I remembered that I would soon speak up with a question which each of the others at the table would find humorous. In the vision I clearly remembered there laughing reactions to my silly question and how BAD and humiliated I felt. So as I realized my turn to speak my line was coming up I prepared for my line. When it was time I held my tongue and the moment passed as did the "deja vu." I had seemingly changed the future even if only slightly and for very simple personal reasons. It made quite an impression on me and is a story I look back on thankfully for it is one of the many EHEs which has dramaticly shown me the reality of psi and the maleability of reality.