Original Transcripts with little commentary (with more to come)
 

FALSE AWAKENINGS
 
 
7/12/94
 
 

 Took Steve (Mizrach) to airport so I was up early. Returned from airport and went back to sleep. Sitting in bed I'm suddenly slurping the honey-dewed crotch of a beautiful woman; my arms & legs entwined with her in a loving/lusty embrace, but flashing back to my bedroom where I lay clutching my pillow-shifting from "reality" to dreamtime, yet visions of "reality" room space and "dream" room space are only slightly different-nearly identical perspectives.
 
 Back in "reality" I notice that my bedroom door is opening to reveal Sean and Steve (Romano) standing in my doorway and for a brief instant I am embarrassed at the possibility of them witnessing this intimate moment in BOTH Reality and DreamTime! AND THEN. . .
 
 I seem to get up and go out of my bedroom into my office/living room where loud light and sound is beckoning there are dark-skinned short-people ALL OVER my office..... sorta harrassing me as I go downstairs in search of Sean. I go out his front door to find him sitting on a car under the tree in the driveway. The garage door is open & despite the evident commotion all around I proceed to sit and tell Sean about all the friggin people up stairs. He grunts in the direction of the yard:  construction is occuring and a strange stairwell is stark against our old house. I inspect the interior and the changes are quite odd.
 
 Then I believe I "woke up" AGAIN and went downstairs/outside to tell someone and I'm in the yard. The other property was a patio/coffee cafe thing with a little astro-turf green area. I'm then standing abreast with two women. One I embrace as my lover ( the other is my daughter?). My anima/soul mate and I move into my house which inside is open like our old deaf friend's multi-leveled interiored house (which is geographicly less than a mile away as the crow flys). As we continue to embrace we tumble into a soft love-seat and I then TRULY awaken . . . . -this morning!

Well... this morning I had some of the most intense sleep paralysis ever.... and I can begin to see how a powerful modern mythos like THE ALIEN GREY CONSPIRACY could cause one to see this event as possibly related.
 
Basicly I woke up after only three hours of sleep at K's apartment-drove the 5-10 minute drive to my shack in the woods. I went directly back to bed and had three 'partial-awakenings' that were accompanied by terrific paralysis! I had just 'been in the dreamtime' when I found my consciousness back in my bed at home but my body was deadened and I could not sit up for the life of me. No matter how I tried I could not lift my chest and head. The paralysis was broken when I tried to move my extremities ever so slighting but gradually more. This happened this morning on what felt like 3 different occassions. One time my knees seemed to be the first thing I could move, another time (or two) my hands. I have read a little which seems to show this as typical. When 'conscious' and paralyzed I felt that whatever my previous dream had been it had some connection. I don't recall the dreams I had. They did seem rather interesting as far as confronting one's fears goes. I think they are dreams I had after the paralysis.
 
While paralyzed I got the distinct impression that, despite how badly my body/mind wanted to just 'fall back into that dark abyss of deep sleep,' something very bad might happen to me if I didn't fight it. 'Unconscious' fear of the jungian other or collective unconscious as shadow?
 
Nearly all of my adult hood false awakenings have followed realtime false awakenings, ie- after I've been roused but then go back to sleep within 5 or 10 minutes. I've read  that one of the aspects of lucid dream periods is the commonness of waking and going back to sleep both in realtime and dreamtime.
 
The relation of sleep paralysis to false awakenings seems important. The only other recent sleep paralysis encounter was back at my Oxofrd Ave home. It involved the sensation of a yellow light coming from the hall thru my bedroom door which was opening as if someone (or thing) were pushing it open. Once again the sensation of numbness (though not to the degree of this morning's events) persisted until I "ROLLED" my body out of it and over, off my side, to 'see the door.' I believe the spell was broken but briefly before I fell back to sleep. During this incredibly brief event I thought of the abducting alien grey scenario that might be unfolding. But all of these sleep paralysis events are short and within that fantastic excluded middle that can be easily forgotten without a little conscious intent to remember.
 
(Could this have something to do with the new research linking WAKING experience of the THETA brain wave state in "mystics", ie-people claiming to see and/or converse with apparitions/spirits? Theta is also associated with PK experiments from around the globe! What if we all really ARE creating the world's events, ala Jeff Lewis, thru our dreaming selves' theta energies?!? What if we could free our minds of the programmed dream circuits of JL's Biblical Apocalypse Programming?)
 
Are our confrontations with these new/old states frightening because of our typical xenophobic autoimmune system genetic wiring? I have thought this as possible before in regards to the abduction experience as traumatic for our societies lack of experience with these altered states but can see them as possibly beneficial for our protection. "What if they really do suck yer soul when you go into the light?"